A Day Trip to Koh Kret, a river island near Bangkok

Surviving a Day Trip to Koh Kret: An Adventure in Sweat and Snacks

Ah, Koh Kret, the tiny island in the Chao Phraya River where Bangkokians go when they want to pretend they're escaping the city without actually leaving it. If you've ever thought, “I really want to feel like a tourist in my own country while also sweating profusely,” then congratulations, Koh Kret is the day trip for you!

Step One: The Journey Begins

Getting to Koh Kret is an experience in itself. First, take a Skytrain or boat, a a van, a bus or a tuk-tuk, and possibly hitch a ride on the back of a tricycle powered by a elderly man who actually rides more slowly than you could walk. Alternatively, just take a taxi or Grab to the pier in Pak Kret where ferries cross the river to Koh Kret. Once you arrive at the pier, you’ll be greeted by a charmingly rickety wooden boat that looks just stable enough to make you question your life choices. Hold on tight as the river water isn't the kind you'd want to go for a swim in.

Step Two: Walking, So Much Walking

Once your feet touch solid ground, prepare yourself for the ultimate walking marathon. Koh Kret is known for its narrow walkways, winding paths, and the fact that every path you take seems to loop back on itself, ensuring that you'll walk way more than necessary. If you’re lucky, you might stumble upon a map though, let's be honest, it’s mostly decorative.

Step Three: The Food Because Let's Be Real, That's Why You're Here

Every self-respecting Thai knows that the real reason you go to Koh Kret isn’t for the pottery (more on that later), but for the food. Fried bananas, pandan-infused coconut cakes, and enough Thai desserts to put you into a sugar coma. Warning: You will tell yourself “Just one more snack” at least twelve times before realizing you need to sit down before you pass out from both exhaustion and overeating.

Step Four: The Obligatory Pottery Stop

Koh Kret is famous for its Mon-style pottery, which means that at some point in your trip, someone will guilt-trip you into buying a clay pot or an elephant-shaped planter you don’t need. You’ll stare at shelves full of handcrafted pottery, nodding like you understand the difference between “traditional Mon craftsmanship” and “a clay bowl.” Eventually, you’ll buy something to avoid looking cheap.

Step Five: The Inevitable Heat-Induced Breakdown

If you're visiting Koh Kret at any time other than the two magical days of Bangkok’s winter (i.e., late December), prepare to sweat like you’re in an extreme sauna challenge. As the sun beats down on you, you will begin making questionable decisions, like buying an iced Thai tea even though you just drank one five minutes ago. At some point, you will contemplate sitting in the shade forever and refusing to move.

Step Six: The Journey Home, A Test of Endurance

Now exhausted, overfed, and slightly sunburnt, you must find your way back to civilization. Another boat ride, another tuk-tuk, and possibly a moment of existential crisis as you question why you left your air-conditioned hotel in the first place. But as you collapse onto the nearest chair, pottery in one hand and leftover desserts in the other, you’ll realize it was totally worth it. 

Would I do it again? Absolutely. But maybe next time, I'll bring a handheld fan and wear something more breathable.

How to get there? 

There are several ways including but not limited to a combination bus, van, boat, Skytrain, tricycle and tuk-tuk, but in the end, taking a taxi to the Koh Kret pier is the only one that makes sense. It won't break the bank and you'll shave hours from the journey.