Thailand - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

A Totally Serious (Not Really) Tourist Guide to Phitsanulok, Thailand Because Bangkok is Too Crowded and Chiang Mai is Too Hipster Welcome, brave traveler, to the magical land of Phitsanulok or as locals lovingly call it, “Phi-lo” (pronounced / pee-lo / because / ph / is never pronounced as / f / in Thailand). Nestled somewhere in the geographical heart of Thailand (right where your finger accidentally lands when you're trying to find Chiang Mai but sneeze mid-search), Phitsanulok is the unsung hero of Thai cities. Where Is This Mysterious Land? Phitsanulok is located in Northern-Central Thailand, about 377 km north of Bangkok. That’s 5 hours by car, 6+ hours by bus or train, or 15 days if you’re relying on your local friend Dave who swears he'll get you there but refuses to use Google Maps as he thinks it's a secret GPS tracking device from the deep state. How to Get There (Easy to Hard) 1. By Train Take a scenic, slow train from Bangkok’s Aphiwat Central Station or Ba...

Where to Stay in Chiang Mai: A Guide for Hipsters, Hikers, and People Who Confuse Temples for Cafes Chiang Mai, the land of temples, monks, jungle hikes, and enough cafés to keep even the most fragile freelancer buzzed for eternity. It’s where people come to “find themselves,” then get distracted by night markets and $6 massages. But choosing where to stay in Chiang Mai? That’s a whole different spiritual journey. From ancient city walls to jungle bungalows, here’s your mildly accurate guide to the main areas, with pros, cons, and gentle mockery for all. 1. Old City – “Temples, tuk-tuks, and tourists with temple fatigue” Vibe : The historic heart of Chiang Mai. If you haven’t taken a photo with a crumbling brick wall here, were you even in Thailand? Pros : Walkable AF. Temples, cafés, and street food every 5 steps. Perfect base for sightseeing and pretending to understand Thai history. Every third building is a temple or a massage place, and we support that lifestyle. Cons : Full of ...

Uttaradit: Thailand’s Best-Kept Secret (That Even Some Thais Forget Exists) Welcome to Uttaradit, the province you’ve definitely heard of if you’re a hardcore geography nerd like Rainbolt or accidentally clicked too far north on Google Maps. But hey, just because it’s not Phuket or Chiang Mai doesn’t mean it’s not worth a visit. In fact, Uttaradit is a low-key paradise filled with juicy langsat fruit, hidden waterfalls, and absolutely zero crowds asking, “Is this where they filmed The Beach?” Let’s dive into why Uttaradit might just be your new favorite place to get lost in Thailand. Where the Heck Is Uttaradit? Uttaradit is located in northern Thailand, nestled between Phrae, Sukhothai, and Laos (well, if you squint a bit). It's a quiet province where life moves slower, think “grandma-on-a-tricycle” slow, and that’s exactly the charm. How to Get There (Spoiler: Don't Even Think About Cycling) By Train : Catch a train from Bangkok’s Hua Lamphong Station to Uttaradit. It’s abou...

Lost in Mae Sot: A First-Timer's Misadventures in Thailand's Border Boomtown Ever heard of Mae Sot? No? Well, you're missing out on one of Thailand's most fascinating border towns! Nestled against the Myanmar border in Tak Province, Mae Sot is like Thailand's wild west. It's a cultural melting pot where Thai, Burmese, Karen, and international NGO workers create a uniquely vibrant atmosphere that's nothing like the Thailand of tourist brochures.  But it is more than that. It's also a safe haven for refugees from Myanmar escaping the armed conflict over there. Actually, many Burmese work in local factories to earn a living. The sad truth is that many of them are technically illegal, and so they're often underpaid and don't enjoy benefits such as public health care. However, if you're just passing through as a tourist, you'll hardly see anything of that. Getting There (Or Trying To) Getting to Mae Sot requires commitment and possibly quest...

Lost in Mae Sariang: A First-Timer's Misadventures in Thailand's Mountain Hideaway Ever heard of Mae Sariang? No? That's exactly why you should go! Tucked away in Thailand's mountainous Mae Hong Son Province, this sleepy riverside town sits in a lush valley surrounded by mist-covered mountains. While tourists flock to nearby Pai for their Instagram moments, Mae Sariang remains delightfully authentic and welcomes very few disrespectful influencers and self-absorbed boho wannabes, leaving you to wonder if you've discovered Thailand's best-kept secret. Getting There (Or Trying To) Getting to Mae Sariang requires determination and a fondness for winding roads: Option 1 : Bus from Chiang Mai For about 200-300+ baht ($5.50-8.50), you can enjoy a 4-5 hour journey featuring approximately 1,000 curves through mountain terrain. The upside: breathtaking scenery. The downside: your breakfast might make a surprise reappearance. Option 2 : Motorbike from Chiang Mai Rent a m...

Trekking in Chiang Mai: Paying to Suffer (and Loving It) So, you’ve come to Chiang Mai. You’ve eaten your body weight in mango sticky rice, taken a selfie with a temple dragon, and now you’re thinking, “You know what I need? A guided nature walk that slowly destroys me.” Enter: the Northern Thailand trek. This magical experience typically starts when a man with a pickup truck and zero suspension picks you up at 8 a.m. He tells you it’s a “short drive” to the jungle. Two hours later, your organs are in new positions, and you’re ready to hike. Day one is a cheerful uphill death march through banana trees, leech-filled undergrowth, and humidity levels typically reserved for saunas and existential breakdowns. Your guide moves like a mountain goat. You move like someone deeply regretting their life choices. He’ll point out plants that cure everything from headaches to heartbreak. You pretend to understand while quietly checking if your left foot is still attached. Eventually, you reach a hi...

How I Accidentally Became a Walking Ethical Dilemma in Northern Thailand So you’re in Northern Thailand, full of pad Thai and vague spiritual energy, and someone tells you, “You should visit a Longneck Karen village!” And because you’re a culturally curious traveler with a camera and a vague guilt complex, you say, “Absolutely, take my money and my soul.” The journey begins with another one of those legendary pickup truck rides that your spine will remember forever. After several hours of bouncing, swerving, and possibly time-traveling, you arrive at what looks like a quiet village tucked into the hills with souvenir stalls. Lots of them. And then you see them: the women with impossibly long necks, stacked with brass rings like they’re wearing golden slinkies of tradition and spinal commitment. You’re stunned. You try not to stare. You stare. The guide says, “They do this from a young age, it's part of their culture,” and you nod like you totally knew that already, even though te...

Nan: The Place Where Time Doesn’t Exist, and Your Wi-Fi Isn’t Strong Enough to Fight It If Chiang Mai is the big, flashy cousin who loves yoga retreats, then Nan is the cool, quiet one who doesn’t even need to try. Peace, temples, mountains, and the occasional wild boar; this place is basically the Thailand your soul has been craving but didn’t know it. How to Get There By Bus From Bangkok’s Mo Chit Terminal Duration: 10–12 hours (this is where your soul learns patience) Fare: 350–500 THB depending on your bus’s idea of comfort Pro tip: You’ll get there eventually, but not without a few dreams of meat buns and better legroom. By Car If you want to own the open road and live your best "Thailand is mine" life. Duration: 8–9 hours from Bangkok Can get real scenic, real fast. Or frustratingly slow if you’re stuck behind a bus full of schoolchildren and their pet chickens. By Plane If you're the impatient type and can’t handle the long, slow journey (we get it). Flights from...

Chiang Mai Shopping: Where Your "Authentic Experience" Comes with a Receipt Ah, Chiang Mai, Thailand's northern darling where digital nomads sip artisanal coffee while congratulating themselves on "escaping" Bangkok. But what about the shopping? Let me guide you through the retail wonderland that awaits in this city of temples, expats, and endless souvenir opportunities. Night Bazaar: The Tourist Trap That Never Sleeps Welcome to Chiang Mai Night Bazaar, where the same elephant pants you saw in Bangkok have somehow migrated 700 kilometers north! This nightly extravaganza stretches along Chang Khlan Road, offering you the unique opportunity to purchase identical souvenirs from hundreds of different vendors. The true art of the Night Bazaar experience is watching tourists haggle aggressively over 20 baht (approximately 60 cents) while simultaneously paying $7 for a beer at the adjacent "authentic" pub. Nothing screams "cultural immersion" quite...

Chiang Rai: Thailand’s Hidden Gem (That’s Tired of Being Called a “Hidden Gem”) So you're over Bangkok’s chaos, Chiang Mai’s crowds, and you’ve realized Phuket is basically just sunburns and regrets. Enter Chiang Rai, Thailand’s northern city that’s been quietly existing with zero interest in impressing tourists, yet somehow ends up doing exactly that. How to Get There By Plane Direct flights from Bangkok land at Chiang Rai’s humble little airport. Expect to pay 1,000–2,000 THB one way. If you're flying budget, prepare for a bumpy ride and a philosophical reflection on legroom. By Bus Overnight or day buses from Chiang Mai cost 200–300 THB, depending on how fancy you want your seat to be. VIP buses come with air-con, snacks, and the faint hope of a nap. By Scooter For the brave and possibly unhinged, you can do the scenic Mae Salong loop. Scooter rentals go for 200–300 THB/day. Helmets are optional according to Thai law, but not according to your brain. Where to Stay Budget...

Mae Hong Son: The Thai Mountain Town That’s So Chill, It Forgot It Was Supposed to Be Famous Welcome to Mae Hong Son, Thailand’s quietly beautiful northern outpost where the air is cool, the mountains are misty, and the vibes are so relaxed you might accidentally slip into a permanent state of “meh, I’ll do it tomorrow.” Nestled near the border with Myanmar and surrounded by jungle-covered hills, this is the spot you come to when you’ve had enough of islands, full moon parties, and pretending to like coconuts. Spoiler: It’s not a party town. It is a place where you eat noodles, ride motorbikes through mountains, and question whether you should just stay and open a coffee shop. How to Get There (And Why You’ll Feel Like Indiana Jones Doing It) Let’s be real, Mae Hong Son is not “on the way” to anything. But getting there is part of the charm. By air : There’s a tiny airport in town with direct flights on tiny planes that may or may not feel like you’re flying inside a tin can with win...

Pai, Thailand: Where Time Stands Still and So Does Personal Hygiene Because nothing says enlightenment like flip-flops, fermented tea, and a mild scooter injury. Ah, Pai. That tiny, overhyped hippie outpost tucked into the hills of northern Thailand. If Koh Phangan is where your dignity goes to die in a bucket of booze, Pai is where it floats away on a cloud of incense, banana pancakes, and acoustic guitar covers of “Wonderwall.” Everyone talks about how “magical” Pai is, but let’s be honest, it’s basically the place where backpackers go to do nothing and pretend it’s spiritual. To get to Pai, you have to survive the infamous drive from Chiang Mai: 762 stomach-churning curves through the mountains, usually in a minivan with no suspension and a driver who thinks he’s auditioning for Fast & Furious: Northern Thailand Drift . If you’re lucky, you’ll only vomit once. If not, welcome to the communal barf bag club. Once you arrive, dazed and slightly concussed, you’ll immediately be gree...

Sukothai: Where Ancient Ruins and Your Patience Both Crumble Beautifully So, you’ve decided to trade Bangkok’s chaotic charm for the serene, temple-dotted plains of Sukothai, Thailand’s original capital (before everyone realized it was too hot and moved south). Congratulations! You’re about to step into a UNESCO World Heritage Site where history whispers (or screams, depending on how many tourists are around) from every crumbling brick.   Why Sukothai? Because You’re Cultured (Or Pretending To Be)  Let’s be real: You could be sipping a cocktail on a tropical beach right now, but no, you chose ancient ruins, sweaty walks, and the existential dread of realizing you know nothing about Thai history. Good for you. Sukothai Historical Park is basically Thailand’s way of saying, "Hey, remember that time we invented Thai script and also had really cool Buddha statues? Yeah, that was us." And now you get to wander around like a confused archaeologist, squinting at restored stupa...

Lampang: The Chill City That Bangkok Hipsters Haven’t Found Yet If Chiang Mai is your trendy cousin who’s into yoga and artisanal coffee, then Lampang is the older sibling who actually has a job, reads books, and doesn’t scream for attention. It’s got temples, horses, no traffic, and most importantly, no monkeys. Honestly, Lampang deserves more love (from genuine travelers, not from annoying influencers doing a TikTok dance in front of a confused horse). How to Get There By Train Slow but scenic. Trains from Chiang Mai or Bangkok roll in at various levels of comfort. From Chiang Mai: 2.5 hours, 40–250 THB, depending on if you want to sit on a wooden bench or feel like royalty. A great way to experience some scenic views without overdoing it. From Bangkok: 9–12 hours of self-inflicted eternity, 300–1,000+ THB, including options to sleep in a bunk while listening to the soothing rattle of Thai rail infrastructure. Bring earplugs or Blue Dream edibles. By Bus Buses from Chiang Mai are ...

Phrae, Thailand: The Hidden Gem That’s Basically Like Time Travel (But With Better Food)   So, you’ve done Bangkok’s chaos, Chiang Mai’s temples, and Phuket’s questionable beach bars. Now you’re craving something different, somewhere that hasn’t yet been Instagrammed to death. Enter Phrae, a sleepy, charming town in northern Thailand where the pace is slow, the teak houses are older than your grandpa’s grudges, and the most exciting traffic jam involves a wandering chicken.   Why Phrae? Because You’re Fancy (But Also Cheap)   Phrae is like Thailand’s best-kept secret, if by "secret" you mean "a place most tourists accidentally drive past on their way to somewhere louder." This is where you go to:   - Pretend you’re an old-timey explorer (but with Wi-Fi).   - Eat like a king on a peasant’s budget.   - Ride a bicycle without fearing for your life (mostly).   What to See & Do (Besides Planning to Move to Thailand...