Thailand - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Thailand vs. Other Humans: A Field Guide to External Enemies, From Friendly Rogue Vendors to Invisible PM2.5 Congratulations! You’ve survived the geckos , the jellyfish, and (miraculously) your own decisions . Now it’s time for Level 3: Other People (and their sticky fingers, negligence, bribes, and airborne particulates). Buckle up, preferably in a van with a real seat-belt. 1. Dual-Pricing Déjà Vu What it feels like : A banana that was 10 baht yesterday is now 70 baht “because inflation, sir.” Entry to the national park is 400 baht for you, 40 baht for your teerak "because you have a long nose, sir." What to do : Politely laugh, bargain with a smile, or walk three stalls away where the price mysteriously drops. Or just suck it up as TiT . How to avoid : Learn a few Thai numbers, carry small bills, and channel your inner grandma: mai dai, khrap/ka ? (“Can’t.”) 2. The Pattaya -Pocket Palooza What it feels like : A charming ladyboy hugs you for a selfie and your wallet or ...

Thailand vs. Yourself: A Survival Guide to Self-Inflicted Mayhem Sure, Thailand has wild monkeys, jellyfish, and geckos that yell like tiny velociraptors, but sometimes, the biggest danger isn’t nature . It’s you. Yes, you , with your spicy curry overconfidence, questionable scooter skills, and that “ one more bucket ” mindset. Here’s your essential guide to the most common self-inflicted wounds in the Land of Smiles and how to avoid turning your dream trip into a viral cautionary tale. 1. Diarrhea & Food Poisoning: The Bangkok Belly Ballet What it feels like : Your stomach becomes a washing machine set to “spin” and “regret.” Your bunghole becomes a faucet that's feels like it's on fire. What to do : Hydrate like your life depends on it (because it does), pop some activated charcoal or Imodium, and become one with the porcelain throne (heaven forbid your flophouse has squat toilets). How to avoid : Be wary of unfiltered tap water, lukewarm street food, bacteria sushi t...

Thailand vs. Nature: A Tourist’s Guide to Laughing Through the Pain Thailand is a tropical paradise full of delicious food, friendly people, and jaw-dropping scenery. But just like a mango with a worm inside, paradise comes with a few “surprises.” Whether you're sipping coconuts on a beach or jungle-trekking like Indiana Jones with Wi-Fi, nature in Thailand has its own sense of humor, and you might be the punchline. Here’s a short guide to the most natural dangers and annoyances Thailand offers, and how to avoid becoming a jungle meme. 1. The Mysterious Insect Bite What it feels like : You’re just sitting there, minding your own business, and suddenly your leg is on fire. You look down. Nothing. But now there's a welt the size of a ping-pong ball. Or you wake up with mysterious red spots on your legs. Slightly itchy but nothing else.  What to do : Don’t scratch. You’ll only make it angry. Apply antihistamine, ice, or a local remedy made of crushed tiger balm and grandma'...

Surviving Thailand’s Death Vans: A Thrilling (and Terrifying) Guide If you’ve ever wanted to experience what it’s like to be a sardine in a tin can that’s being fired out of a cannon, then Thailand’s infamous minivan rides are for you. These "VIP" vans (where "VIP" stands for Very Intense Peril ) are the preferred method of transport for thrill-seekers, budget backpackers, and people who clearly have no regard for their own mortality.   The Seating Arrangement: Human Tetris Step inside one of these vans, and you’ll quickly realize that Thai engineers have defied the laws of physics. How else can they fit 15 people into a space designed for 8? You’ll be folded into a seat so small that your knees become one with your chin, and the person next to you is now your new best friend, whether you like it or not.   Legroom? Forget it. You’ll be sitting in the Lotus Position by the second hour, praying for the sweet release of your destination. And if you’re unlucky enough t...

Cycling in Thailand: A Two-Wheeled Adventure Through Chaos and Sweat Thinking about cycling in Thailand? Fantastic idea, if you've ever wondered what it's like to star in your own survival reality show while getting a sunburn on your eyeballs. Thailand has so much to offer the intrepid cyclist: stunning scenery, delicious food, charming locals, and a death wish disguised as traffic. Let’s talk about the roads first. You might imagine gently pedaling through serene rice paddies with birds chirping and monks waving. Reality check: you’ll be swerving to avoid potholes the size of small bathtubs, dodging packs of street dogs who think your calves look tasty, and praying to every available deity as pickup trucks (with speakers louder than a space shuttle launch) barrel past you like they’re reenacting Mad Max. Now, bicycle lanes. Haha. That’s cute. Yes, in theory, there are bicycle lanes. In practice, these mystical paths are either occupied by parked cars, makeshift food stalls, or...