Siam Square - A Square That's Not A Square

Siam Square: The Hilariously Misnamed "Square"

Let's talk about Siam Square, Bangkok's famous shopping district that is neither a square nor particularly Siamese in the traditional sense. It's like calling Times Square a square or Piccadilly Circus a circus, a complete misnomer that everyone just rolled with.

When you hear "Siam Square," you might imagine a charming open plaza with a fountain in the middle, perhaps some old-world charm, maybe even a few elders playing chess. Nope! What you get instead is a labyrinthine maze of narrow streets, alleys, and corridors packed with shops, cafes, and enough teenagers to make you question if school is optional in Thailand.

What Actually Is Siam Square?

Siam Square is essentially several blocks of retail chaos sandwiched between big malls and universities. It's where Bangkok's youth come to spend money they don't have on clothes they don't need to impress people they might not even like. It's capitalism in its purest, most fashionable form.

The "square" consists of Siam Square Soi 1-7 (soi means lane or alley), which are numbered in a system apparently designed by someone who was actively trying to get tourists lost. Soi 2 is nowhere near Soi 1. Soi 5 somehow connects to Soi 7. If you walk in a straight line, you'll somehow end up where you started. It's like M.C. Escher designed a shopping district.

Getting There: Surprisingly, The Easy Part

Getting to Siam Square is actually the most straightforward part of the experience:

1. Take the BTS Skytrain to Siam Station. (Yes, Thailand's public transport system is more reliable than whatever you have back home)

2. Walk out of the station.

3. Congratulations, you're already there! The hard part is figuring out where "there" actually starts and ends.

The area is surrounded by shopping malls that actually make sense geographically: MBK, Siam Discovery, Siam Center, Siam Paragon. These serve as useful landmarks when you inevitably get lost in the actual Siam Square area and need to recalibrate your internal GPS.

What To Do There

Siam Square specializes in separating you from your money in creative and exciting ways:

1. Shop for fashion: From tiny boutiques selling clothes designed by local art students to shops specializing in outfits that make K-pop stars look conservatively dressed.

2. Eat random food: Discover restaurants hidden in buildings you'd never think to enter. Find cafes on the fourth floor of unmarked buildings. Eat desserts that look like art installations.

3. People-watch: Marvel at Bangkok's youth and their impossible fashion sense. Wonder how they're not sweating in those layers. Question how they can afford those designer bags while still in school.

4. Get lost: This is not optional. You will get lost. Embrace it. Some of the best finds are when you're desperately trying to figure out where you are.

5. Air conditioning appreciation: Duck into any shop or mall when the tropical heat becomes too much. Experiencing Siam Square is essentially hopping from one air-conditioned space to another while briefly braving the heat in between.

What makes Siam Square special is its constant reinvention. That quirky art gallery you visited two years ago? It's now a bubble tea shop. That bubble tea shop from last month? Now it sells custom phone cases. That phone case shop from last week? Now it's an underground K-pop merchandise store.

In a city of contrasts, Siam Square represents the youthful, trendy side of Bangkok that's constantly changing yet somehow stays exactly the same in spirit. It's chaotic, confusing, occasionally frustrating, but undeniably vibrant, much like Bangkok itself.

So go ahead, visit the square that isn't a square. Just make sure your phone is charged so you can Google Map your way out when you inevitably get lost in its non-Euclidean geometry.