Thailand - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Landing a Teaching Job in Thailand: A Wild Journey of Paperwork, Smiles, and Mild Identity Crises So, you want to teach English in Thailand? Fantastic! Pack your sunscreen, your patience, and a collection of slightly wrinkled collared shirts, because you’re about to enter a magical land where everything is possible, nothing makes sense, and job contracts are more like suggestions. Let’s start with qualifications. Do you have a degree? Great! Doesn’t matter what it’s in, Ancient Basket Weaving, Interpretive Dance, or just the classic “I Barely Passed Anything Studies” is fine, as long as it’s a degree. Don’t have one? Well, you might still find a job… if you’re charming, lucky, and okay with being paid in noodle soup and mild anxiety. A TEFL certificate? Yeah, technically you might need one. But in reality, half the teachers don’t have one, a quarter bought theirs from a website that also sells fake Rolexes, and the rest actually did the course but can’t remember what “present perfect c...

High Times in the Land of Smiles: Thailand's Cannabis Comedy Show Listen up, folks! Remember when Thailand was the place where you could get thrown in jail for having a single joint? Well, hold onto your bongs because in 2022, this traditionally conservative kingdom decided to pull the ultimate "hold my beer" moment in Southeast Asian politics by decriminalizing cannabis. Now in 2025, the situation has evolved into what can only be described as a regulatory acid trip. From "War on Drugs" to "Wait, We Love Weed Now?" Thailand, the country that once executed drug traffickers, suddenly decided that cannabis was actually pretty chill. It's like watching your strictest high school teacher show up to the reunion with dreadlocks and a tie-dyed t-shirt. "Cannabis is now legal... sort of... we'll figure out the details later!" announced the government, in what historians will surely record as the most half-baked drug policy rollout of all time...

Bangkok: A Funny & Chaotic Love Affair That Ruins Your Sweat Glands Forever Let's be honest, Bangkok is a city that will lovingly assault all your senses simultaneously, leave you dripping in sweat you didn't know your body could produce, and somehow still have you planning your return visit before you've even left. This magnificent mess of a metropolis is everything all at once: chaotic yet spiritual, ancient yet futuristic, refined yet wonderfully sleazy. Many people love the Big Mango, but some hate it. The food may be delicious, the temples gorgeous, the shopping divine and the people lovely, but to be fair it's not all roses. The enormous crowds, the unbearable heat, the suffocating air pollution and the incessant noise may get to you. Anyway, you'll have to figure out your love -hate relationship yourselves. How Long To Stay? Four days is the sweet spot for Bangkok: enough time to see the highlights without developing the thousand-yard stare that comes f...

How to Avoid Food Poisoning in Thailand: A Comedy of Gastrointestinal Errors Thailand, the Land of Smiles, spicy food, and the occasional surprise bathroom sprint. If you're planning a trip and think your stomach is ready for adventure, think again. Thailand is home to some of the best cuisine in the world and also the kind of digestive detours that make you question your life choices while clinging to a toilet like it’s your emotional support animal. Let’s get real: avoiding food poisoning in Thailand is an art form, a bit of science, and mostly dumb luck. But hey, here’s your totally useful, barely effective guide to surviving the land of pad Thai without becoming best friends with the porcelain throne. First up: street food. Yes, it’s delicious. Yes, it’s dirt cheap. Yes, that cart has been there since 1983 and the owner's probably never washed their hands. Ever. But who needs hygiene when your fried chicken tastes like heaven, right? If you're going to roll the dice (an...

Mastering the Wai: The Thai Greeting Dance-Off Alright, listen up, because we're about to dive into the wonderful world of the Wai—the traditional Thai greeting that's part bow, part prayer, and all kinds of confusing for the uninitiated. Think of it as the Thai version of a secret handshake, but with more grace and less awkwardness... usually. What the Wai is All About The Wai is your key to unlocking respect and politeness in Thailand. It's like a cultural dance move that says, "Hey, I acknowledge your existence and I come in peace." Here's how it works: 1. Press Your Palms Together: Like you're about to pray or give a high-five to yourself. 2. Bow Slightly: Just a little dip of the head, not a full-on yoga pose. 3. Smile: Because nothing says "I'm friendly" like a good old-fashioned smile. When to Wai Knowing when to Wai is like knowing when to clap at a concert—timing is everything. - Elders and Superiors: Always Wai first when greeting s...

How I Got Scammed in Bangkok: The Grand Palace "Closed" Trick (And My $500 "Discount" Suit) Let me tell you the story of how I, a supposedly intelligent traveler who once successfully assembled IKEA furniture without crying, got completely scammed in Bangkok like a wide-eyed newbie who had never heard of the internet.   It all started with my grand plan to visit the Grand Palace, because obviously, you can't go to Bangkok without seeing the Emerald Buddha and taking at least 200 photos to prove you were cultured.   Act 1: The Friendly Stranger Who Definitely Wasn't a Scammer   As I approached the palace gates, sweating like a snowman in a sauna (because Bangkok heat is no joke), a well-dressed man with a very official-looking badge stopped me.   Him (in decent English): "Oh no, sorry sir, Grand Palace closed for Buddhist ceremony until 3 PM!"   Me (squinting suspiciously): "Really? But Google said..."   Him (cutting me off with a sa...

Koh Samui: Paradise, But Only If You Ignore Reality   Ah, Koh Samui, the island where travel brochures promise you crystal-clear waters, luxurious resorts, and a relaxing escape from the chaos of city life. And sure, those things exist, but only if you squint hard enough and selectively ignore the less glamorous parts. So, let’s get into it, the stunning highs and the questionable lows of Thailand’s most famous island getaway.   The Positives: Why Koh Samui Will Steal Your Heart (and Your Wallet) 1. Beaches That Are Almost As Stunning As Instagram Makes Them Look Yes, Koh Samui’s beaches are beautiful. Chaweng , Lamai , and Lipa Noi each have their own charm, with soft sand and clear water—assuming it hasn’t rained recently and turned the shore into a questionable shade of brown. But hey, grab a coconut, angle your camera away from that one plastic bottle floating by, and paradise is yours!   2. Luxury Resorts That Make You Forget You’re on a Crowded Isla...

Breathless in Bangkok: A Tale of Air Pollution, PM2.5, and Government (In)Action Welcome to Thailand, where the air is thick with... well, not just the aroma of delicious street food, but also a not-so-delightful cocktail of pollutants. Let's dive into the hazy world of Thailand's air pollution problems, the infamous PM2.5 particles, and the government's attempts to tackle (or not) this invisible menace. The Invisible Enemy: PM2.5 PM2.5 particles are tiny, sneaky foes—so small they can infiltrate your lungs and even enter your bloodstream. These microscopic menaces come from various sources: vehicle exhaust, industrial emissions, and agricultural burning. In Thailand, they're a chronic problem, especially during the dry season from November to April, when farmers burn fields and the weather traps pollutants close to the ground. Selfish Farmers and Local Losers: Fueling the Fire One of the major contributors to Thailand's air pollution woes is the selfish practice of...

Essential Thai Phrases for Tourists (Because Charades Only Works So Far) So, you're off to Thailand, where the food is spicy, the beaches are Instagram-worthy, and the locals will pretend to understand your terrible pronunciation. Google Translate might help, but why not learn a few key phrases so you don't end up accidentally ordering fried cockroaches? FYI, the Google transcription is totally useless, so here we used English phrase, Google transcription, Thai phrase, pronunciation. Use Google's audio button to hear the phrase if you want to practice and get used to the sound of Thai. So here's your totally foolproof (lol)   guide to Thai phrases, now with actual readable pronunciations  (kind of) and extra useful stuff (like numbers, because bargaining is a sport here). The Basics (Don't Be That Tourist) 1. "Hello" - "S̄wạs̄dī" (สวัสดี)     Say it like: "sa-wat-dee" Bonus: Add a wai (hands together, slight bow) to look polite. Overdo...

How and Where to Haggle in Thailand: The Ancient Art of Polite Combat Welcome to Thailand, where the smiles are warm, the temples are golden, and the prices for tourists are made up on the spot! That’s right, if you’re paying what’s written on the tag at a market, congratulations, you’ve just sponsored someone’s lunch. And maybe their rent. But fear not, dear traveler, because you too can master the sacred art of haggling, Thailand’s unofficial national sport. First, let’s clarify where to haggle. Shopping mall? No. 7-Eleven? Also no. If you try to bargain for a Snickers bar, you’ll either be met with confusion or pity. But hit up any open-air market, night bazaar, roadside stall, or beach hawker and it’s game on. Places like Chatuchak Market in Bangkok or the Night Bazaar in Chiang Mai are basically live-action Monopoly with less real estate and more elephant pants. Now, how to haggle. Step one: pretend you don’t care. Even if you want that handcrafted wooden frog more than you’ve eve...

Toilets in Thailand: A Useful Guide to Number 1 & 2 If you're planning a trip to Thailand, you might be in for a surprise when nature calls. Thailand's toilets are a world apart from what you might be used to, offering a mix of cultural shock, ingenious solutions, and sometimes, a good laugh. So, let's dive into the world of Thai toilets, from Bangkok's gleaming mall restrooms to the humble squat toilet, and everything in between. Bangkok: A Tale of Two Toilets In the bustling city of Bangkok, you'll find a mix of the ultra-modern and the traditional. Shopping malls like Siam Paragon, CentralWorld, and EmQuartier are not just places to shop; they're also havens for those seeking a clean, well-maintained toilet. These malls often feature high-tech Japanese-style toilets with heated seats, bidets, and other luxuries that will make you feel like you're in a spa rather than a restroom. But step outside these air-conditioned oases, and you might encounter the...

The Art of Tipping in Thailand: A Comprehensive Guide Ah, Thailand, the Land of Smiles, stunning beaches, and... tipping confusion? Whether you're a seasoned traveler or a first-timer, navigating the tipping culture in Thailand can feel like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. But fear not! We've got you covered with a humorous guide to tipping in Thailand. The Basics: To Tip or Not to Tip? First things first, tipping in Thailand isn't mandatory nor expected. It's more like a friendly gesture that says, "Hey, you did a great job, here's a little something for your effort." Think of it as the cherry on top of your already delightful Thai experience. Restaurants: The Art of Rounding Up Eating out in Thailand is a culinary adventure, and tipping is like the dessert you didn't know you needed. If you're at a fancy restaurant, check the bill for a service charge. If it's included, you're off the hook. If not, rounding up the bill to ...

So You Want to Get Scammed in Thailand? Here's Your Ultimate Guide Ah, Thailand, the Land of Smiles. Stunning beaches, incredible food, rich culture and of course, the occasional tourist scam to spice things up. Because what’s a vacation without getting mildly robbed, right? If you’re looking to lose some money and make questionable memories, you’re in luck. Thailand has a buffet of scams waiting just for you. Let’s dive into the highlights. 1. “Sorry, the Grand Palace is Totally Closed Today… Trust Me, I’m a Stranger” You came all the way to Bangkok, excited to see the Grand Palace, only to have a very convincing stranger tell you it’s closed for a "special Buddhist thing." So nice of him to break the news before you even got near the entrance! But don’t worry, he’s got a cousin with a tuk-tuk ready to show you the real Bangkok. Spoiler: it ends with you in a jewelry store buying fake gems. Pro tip: The palace is almost never closed. Just walk in and see for yourself.  2...

Phuket: Paradise, Party, and Possibly a Hangover (and Maybe a Rip-Off) Ah, Phuket. The name alone makes some people giggle (go ahead, pronounce it how you want, we won’t judge). Thailand’s biggest island is basically a travel buffet: sun, sea, shopping, sketchy street deals, and nightlife that can either make your trip or leave you questioning your life choices. And yes, before we go any further, let’s get this out of the way: Phuket is expensive. For Thailand, anyway. If you were expecting backpacker prices and $2 Pad Thai on every corner, prepare to be slightly disappointed (and financially drained by your third iced latte). Let’s break it all down. The Beaches: Where Sunscreen Goes to Die (and So Does Your Budget) Phuket is blessed with some of the most gorgeous beaches you’ll ever lay your overworked eyes on. Patong Beach is the most famous but also the most likely to feature jet ski scams, a parade of questionable tattoos, and someone trying to sell you a pair of sunglasses you al...

Breakdown of Financial Damage for Those New To Thailand Okay, let's talk Thai Baht, baby! So, you're heading to the Land of Smiles™ (and questionable plumbing, depending on your budget), and you're wondering how much cash you need to splash daily. Fear not, intrepid traveller/potential bankruptee, for I shall be your sarcastic, slightly-jaded guide through the financial minefield that is a Thailand holiday. Forget those precise spreadsheets. Your spending will depend entirely on whether you're here to "find yourself" on 70 baht noodles or lose yourself (and possibly a kidney) in a neon-lit bar crawl. Let's break down the damage by traveller stereotype, shall we? (Exchange rate used for comedic effect and vague accuracy: roughly $1 USD = 35 THB. Check the real rate, don't blame me if you run out of cash.) 1. The Budget Backpacker (aka Ramen Noodle Connoisseur / Aspiring Ascetic) Daily Damage : ฿900 - ฿1,800 ($25 - $50 USD) Habitat : Dorm rooms that sm...

The Ultimate Guide to Bringing Prescription Medicine to Thailand: A Survival Kit Alright, folks! Buckle up because we're diving headfirst into the wild and wonderful world of bringing your prescription meds to the Land of Smiles. Spoiler alert: Thailand might be smiling, but their customs officers aren't playing around when it comes to your pills. Let's navigate this pharmaceutical minefield together, shall we? Packaging: Dress Your Meds for Success First things first, don't even think about tossing your pills into that dodgy old vitamin bottle. When it comes to packaging, think of it like a job interview for your meds. They need to be dressed to impress, which means keeping them in their original, clearly labelled packaging. And don't forget the all-important letter from your doctor. Think of it as a VIP pass that says, "Yep, these are legit, and yes, I really do need them." The Magic Number: 30 vs. 90 Days Now, let's talk quantity. You might be think...

How Not to Get Your Face Rearranged in Thailand: A Tourist's Guide to Southeast Asian Confrontations So you're thinking about getting into a fight in Thailand? Perhaps you've had a few Singhas too many and that guy at the bar is looking at you funny. Or maybe someone scuffed your flip-flops and now honor demands satisfaction. Let me stop you right there and explain why this is possibly the worst idea you've had since that "authentic" pad thai cooking class that gave you food poisoning for three days. The Great Cultural Misunderstanding: One-on-One vs. All-on-One In the West, we have this quaint notion of the "fair fight." Two people have a disagreement, they square up, someone wins, someone loses, and then everyone goes home with a bruised ego and maybe a black eye. There's even that sacred moment when bystanders form a circle and chant "Fight! Fight! Fight!" while filming vertically on their phones (because apparently horizontal video ...

So You Want a Tattoo in Thailand: A Slightly Questionable Decision-Making Guide Ever looked at your pristine, unmarked skin and thought, "You know what this needs? An irreversible design applied with needles in a country where I can't read the medication labels"? Well, friend, you're in luck! Thailand beckons with its vibrant tattoo scene, ancient traditions, and a refreshing disregard for those pesky "maybe think about this for more than five minutes" warnings. The "I'm on Vacation" Impulse Decision There's nothing quite like the surge of confidence that comes from drinking three Chang beers on a Thai beach. Suddenly, you're not just a tourist—you're a spiritual warrior who absolutely needs a permanent souvenir. Who cares if the only Thai words you know are "pad thai" and "another beer, please"? Your body is a canvas, and that canvas is screaming for some exotic ink! Remember: nothing says "I had a profound...

A Hilarious Guide to Renting Two-Wheeled Death Machines in Thailand So you've decided to rent a motorbike in Thailand. Congratulations! You've officially joined the ranks of tourists who think that having zero experience operating a motorized two-wheeler in their home country somehow magically qualifies them to navigate the chaotic streets of Bangkok or the winding mountain roads of Chiang Mai. Requirements (or "Paperwork") In theory, here's what you need to rent a scooter in Thailand: - An international driving permit with a motorcycle endorsement - Your home country's valid driver's license - Some form of ID or passport - Travel insurance that covers motorcycle accidents (read: inevitable mishaps) - Basic motor skills and a functioning survival instinct In practice, what you actually need is: - Money - A pulse That's it! Many rental shops operate on the "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to proper licensing. They'll ha...

“Teaching English in Thailand: Chaos, Crickets, and the Morning Assembly You’ll Never Miss” When I accepted a job teaching English in Thailand, I pictured something out of a travel blog: temple visits after work, chatting with friendly students over mango smoothies, and maybe the occasional jungle hike on a weekend. Instead, I found myself in a Bangkok suburb which was not quite urban, not quite rural, but certainly hot, humid, and full of things no teacher training course ever mentioned. Armed with laminated lesson plans and a wildly misplaced sense of preparedness, I entered the world of Thai government schools. Things unraveled quickly. But at least I got a good story (or twenty) out of it. 1. Gate Duty: Every Morning Feels Like Campaign Season At 6:45 a.m., I’m already drenched in sweat, standing outside the school gates, pressing my palms together and nodding like I’m trying to secure votes from 1,200 very short constituents and their parents. Smiles are non-negotiable. Enthu...