Thinking of Going to a Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan? Read this first.

Koh Phangan: Where Your Dignity Goes to Die (Gloriously)

Koh Phangan is one of those places that every backpacker insists you have to visit, usually while recounting a blurry tale involving body paint, a lost phone, and an Australian named Chad. It’s an island in the Gulf of Thailand that has become famous, or maybe infamous, for the Full Moon Party: a monthly gathering that is basically a neon-drenched, sand-covered explosion of chaos masquerading as a cultural event. Spoiler: it’s not cultural. Unless you consider drinking cheap vodka from a bucket and dancing to five different DJs at once a form of art.

The Mythical Full Moon Party

Let’s talk about the Full Moon Party, because there’s really no avoiding it. Imagine thousands of tourists crammed onto Haad Rin Beach, all wearing some combination of neon tank tops, bad tattoos, and regret. The music is blasting from every direction: EDM, house, reggae, and, for reasons unknown, the Macarena. You’ll spend your night stepping over people passed out in the sand, dodging fire poi performers who are definitely not insured, and trying to find your friends who wandered off after their fourth vodka-Red Bull bucket. It’s like Coachella’s weird cousin who lives out of a tuk-tuk and doesn’t believe in shoes.

Thirsty? No problem!

The drinks? Oh, they’re served in literal plastic sand buckets. That’s not a cute nickname but an actual child’s beach toy filled with lukewarm alcohol, one or more straws, and poor decisions. For a few bucks, you too can sip on something that tastes like battery acid and shame. Mix that with sleep deprivation, 35-degree heat (that's 95 degrees Fahrenheit for weirdos that don't know Celsius), and a complete lack of personal boundaries, and you’ve got yourself a night you’ll never forget unless you black out, which is highly likely.

What to do if you're not a party animal

Outside of the party scene, Koh Phangan tries its best to play the “relaxing tropical paradise” card, and to be fair, it sometimes succeeds. There are quiet beaches, waterfalls, and yoga retreats scattered around the island, especially up north where the party zombies fear to tread. You can meditate, snorkel, or sit quietly and contemplate your life choices. But even the peaceful side of the island can’t totally escape the lingering scent of day-old Red Bull and broken dreams.

Accommodation extremes

Accommodation on Koh Phangan runs the full spectrum. If you’re lucky (and rich), you’ll find a beautiful beachside bungalow with air conditioning and a door that locks. More likely, you’ll end up in a fan room with paper-thin walls, a bathroom that doubles as a mosquito breeding ground, and a suspicious stain that no one talks about. It’s all part of the “authentic backpacker experience,” apparently.

How to get there 

And don’t get me started on the ferries. Delays, overcrowding, sea-sickness; every ride to or from Koh Phangan is a mini survival challenge. By the time you reach the island, you’ll feel like you’ve earned that first bucket. And maybe a tetanus shot.

To go or not to go

In all seriousness, Koh Phangan can be fun if you go in with the right mindset: expect chaos, lower your standards, and bring a sense of humor. You might meet some cool people, have a few unforgettable moments, and even enjoy yourself between hangovers. But don’t believe anyone who tells you it’s paradise. It’s more like a tropical fever dream with Wi-Fi. And glitter. So much glitter.